Bella Art Girl

our little rose is 5

2012-01-25T23:47:00.000-08:00

Wilder Rose you came after a storm and lit our world with sunshine and grace. Your papa, your sister and I all truly rejoiced in your birth. After Coco died, I got pregnant with you within 5 months and it seemed so unreal. Thankfully you have lived up to your name and are wildly strong enough despite your heart issues and yet tempered with a loving spirit and a sunshiney disposition that creates such beauty around you. Now 5 years later your spirit grows stronger and we being to see more and more the girl God created you to be. We love you to the moon and back!

One step at a time

2012-01-18T13:48:00.001-08:00

I was trying to persuade myself that it would be ok if I skipped my workout. I knew in my heart that I needed to be accountable to the goals I had set, to the work I had put in, and the money paid. Sometimes it is simply those little accountability moments that help us keep our promises. I have been reminding myself and also been encouraging my children to keep our decisions based on what we should do or what we said we will do NOT on what our emotions influence us to want to do in the moment. So on a rainy day we work on keeping our spirits up and moving one step at a time. It is not easy, but in the winter we need to have a vision of the spring and summer. We need to see the fruit of our labors and to know this work now is part of what makes that time so sweet. I am also thankful for our choice to be a part of the Classical Conversation groups that help make winter homeschooling fun and do-able. I love seeing the fruit of their hard work and the joy of keeping the forward motion. I know that I lead by example so when I step out the door into the rainy, cold day - I think of how good it is that I have an opportunity to do one step at a time. God is good. Carpe Diem.

Simplify simplify

2012-01-12T12:01:00.000-08:00

It is a gorgeous day and the light is shining through illuminating all the nooks and crannies of my home. - yikes - it is cleaning and decluttering time. It is time to take the bulls by the horn and do some serious work. Homeschooling often pushes housekeeping down a notch on what actually gets done. Especially when you have a toddler creating a tornado of play behind you. I am strategizing on how to streamline our little family even more. So on today's agenda = declutter the toys that seem to walk from upstairs to downstairs. It's time to donate some good toys and maybe even books to worthy causes and help my family! It is a win, win situation!

Meanwhile this little man discovered the bird whistle and is distracted for the moment in making sounds...

God is good. Carpe diem - oh and on a side note.. I have used Carpe diem for years as one of my favorite sayings. I know it is hip now but I discovered it for myself in college and it has special meaning for me. After the death of my daughter and the hit and run accident that almost took my life I even more profoundly realize that life is short and I want to seize the day, the moments, etc. Not just in some dreamy way but REALLY I don't know what today will bring nor tomorrow. I am hear now and I want to make the most of it. So I try to remind myself to do that. I read an article the other day on how people were offended by it [the saying Carpe diem] and other pithy sayings. All I could think was - to each his own. What bothers me may not bother you - but I hope that we can let peace and grace reign! And for goodness sakes let's get back to important stuff!

Schooling stuff: homeschool, Classical Conversations, etc

2012-01-03T18:00:00.001-08:00

It's January 2012 and homeschool has started again with our co-ops and thus the call back to our regular home schedule. Homeschooling multiple ages makes me admire women who can do it well - especially if they have kids that have the age spread of at least 5 years. I think as I continue to observe the process it is really about consistency and vision combined with grace and flexibility. This may not be the best written post - I just wanted to get this up to record what this year looks like. Blogger is a bit ackward to write on at times but I am too busy right now to chase down another venue : ).

My two older girls are 6.5 years apart. Sometimes Wilder fools people into thinking she is older because she is very articulate but she is still very young. That being said, her enthusiasm to learning has been a gift. So in essence as we tackle middle school curriculum with Lily and kindergarten with Wilder and the Atticus the free agent - it keeps Tucker and I on our toes.

Our main core curriculum for the last 4 years has been from the Classical Conversations curriculum. It is a classical education core for the elementary years. It also has a very strong grammar & writing core class for the upper elementary years. After that it splits into what they call the Challenge levels. Lily is in the first level of that. One of the biggest factors to this process has been seeing the difference a cohort can make. The cohort of kids really helps shape the direction and enthusiasm that these students have. It gives them accountability.

One of the homeschooling blogs I was reading the other day talked about how the curriculum should be a tool and that we should be masters over the curriculum vs. it being a master of us. I L.o.V.e. that! Too many times as we tweak and hone this process it feels more and more like we need to listen to what intuitively works for our family, for our student. And as I often hear what works for one family does not necessarily work for another.

And also to answer the question of how we get this all done - we are and have [especially over the past 7 years of homeschooling] learned the very great value of schedule and consistency but with flexibility because life does not always fit neatly into our little boxes, lists and lines. Especially this year Lily has really learned how to manage her school time and Wilder is learning how to do homeschooling.

With all the above being said here is the list of our curriculum that we are doing for 2011-2012..

for Lily this 2011-2012 year:

Classical Conversations Challenge A:

Language - Henle Latin I, and conversational Spanish sessions

Geography - drawing the World - countries and capitols, etc.

Science - research in the Natural Science & Biology [focus on the body]

Writing -

Institute for Excellence: Bible Based Writing Lessons
Words Aptly Spoken: Children's Literature - Carry On Mr. Bowditch, Magician's Nephew, Number the Stars, Amos Fortune, The Secret Garden, Door in the Wall, Bronze Bow
Lost Tools of Writing

Rhetoric - Don't Check Your Brains at the Door, It Couldn't Just Happen

Math - Teaching Textbooks and the Life of Fred

Spelling - IEW Phonetic Zoo

Journal/Blog writing - daily/weekly writing and posts

Bible - daily family reading through the bible in a year ESV plan

Art - drawing/painting/photography and experimenting with different mediums and techniques, Dance - participate in Narnia production, Tap, Ballet, and HYPe [learning more about choreography]

Piano

for Wilder this 2011-2012 year:

Classical Conversations Foundations Cycle 3 - focus American History, classical methodology, the body, science experiments, drawing, tin whistle, great artists, orchestra, geography [USA], math, world history timeline, English grammar facts, Latin translation of John 1, chemistry

Language & Writing: Institute for Excellence: Primary Arts of Language, Primary Arts of Writing, All About Spelling

History: Story of the World, and Young People's History of the US

Reading - working on having her read aloud from BOB books, primary readers and Veritas Press readers

Math: counting, Life of Fred

Art - Dance [creative dance tap & ballet, and participate in Narnia production], Suzuki: pre-Twinkle Violin I have been delighted by how Suzuki methods/philosphy mirror classical methods - it has been very helpful, drawing, painting, various elementary art projects

Bible - daily family reading through the bible in a year ESV plan

little mister is a busy 22 month old

little Wilder is almost 5 and a bundle of LIFE and joy and loves

dance for big and little girls has been very fun

schooling the ages - love the character building of the siblinghood - kindness and love rules

middle school - I am thrilled to see the great conversations and friendships in this cohort

Light in the new year

2012-01-01T07:19:00.001-08:00

What do these rituals hold? These place markers on the calendar? The changing of the guard, the phoenix rising, renewal, birth, etc. It is a new year. And with newness seems hope. The opportunity for fresh life. As we reflect on the blessings given of another year lived and as we look forward to what could be...I pray that we are filled with hope and perseverance. I hope we have purpose in our days. And again I pray that we cherish what is truly good and right. One of my favorite sayings late this year was beautifully adorned by an artist named Katie Daisy.

Light and being, love and sunshine, I remind myself to breathe in this day deeply. Happy New Year! God is good. Carpe diem.

tried and true - the French 75 or 77

2011-12-30T09:16:00.000-08:00

One of our holiday festivities is to gather with a few friends and celebrate over food and drink. My marvelous friend Marilyn made one of her favorite cocktails and now is becoming one of mine [closely edging to my dearest Richmond Gimlet obsession] the French 75. The goodness of gathering and tasting marvelous food and being with dear friends is a blessing. I think that I will have to put either the French 75 or 77 on the menu. I love that one of my favorite food blogs Rosemarried shared a beautiful description and recipe.

So from Rosemarried a beautiful description of the cocktail making...

Lastly, I thought I’d sharea festive cocktail recipe that is perfect for ringing in the new year. It alsohappens to be my favorite cocktail of all time: The French 77.

The French 77 is avariation on the classic cocktail, The French 75. The French 75 was created in1915 at a bar in Paris and the drink was originally made with gin, champagne,simple syrup, and a lemon twist. The name hails from the fact that the cocktailwas rumored to “have sucha kick that it felt like being shelled with the powerful French 75mm fieldgun”.

The 77 doesn’t differ muchfrom the 75, but the one slight change makes all the difference (in my humbleopinion). The 77 uses Elderflower Liqueur (St. Germain) in place of the simplesyrup. The St. Germain adds a sweetness that isn’t too sweet. It’s slightly floral, withoutbeing too overpowering. It’s perfect. The cocktail is smooth, balanced, andgoes down ridiculously easily. And yes, it certainly has the kick of a Frenchfield rifle. This cocktail packs a punch(in the best way).

So, Happy New Year to youand yours! I plan on celebrating with a French 77. Maybe you’ll join me?

The French 77
Note: The drink is oftenserved in a champagne flute, but I like to serve it in a smaller classiccocktail glass.

Ingredients:
2 oz Gin
1/2 oz St. Germain (Elderflower liqueur)
1 oz fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 ounces Champagne (or sparkling wine)
1 small strip lemon zest

Shake together gin, lemonjuice, and St. Germain with ice. Strain, and pour into a cocktail glass. Pourchampagne float over the top, garnish with lemon zest. Serve immediately.

Makes one cocktail.

Art & inspiration - homeschool art and Classical Conversation

2011-12-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

For Classical Conversations each year we do a drawing segment in the first 6 weeks. Often in the time we have for each topic we are wanting to have more opportunities to delve deeper into the subject. One of my favorites as a tutor, but also one of the student's favorites is perspective drawing. It combines so many of the drawing skills we are learning. Lily loves drawing houses and Wilder is learning 1 dimensional space. I really want to encourage art in our house in the everyday and journalling helps do that. Each girl has a sketch book and various supplies. We journal/draw almost every day. In my wandering in internet land I often stumble upon great sites. This morning as I was thinking on my next 6 weeks of teaching I found this and it is so lovely that I wanted to share. These were inspired travels from the blog Deep Space Sparkle. This blogger reminds me of the curriculum we have done with Mona Brooks Drawing with Children. I am sure that we will be doing some of this later today. I can't believe it is the new year.

one of the examples from the Smart Class website

and for more advance drawing..

this is from an elementary school teachers site B an Artist

from Art with Mr. E

God is good. Carpe diem.

tech helps...distracting but fun

2011-12-26T17:25:00.000-08:00

In the last hour I have played @ pinterest, weheartit, tumblr...and who knows what else...that being said it is a fun vacation thing to do and reminds me of the old days of leisurely flipping through a magazine...I think I will try this next...

http://familyoffarmers.blogspot.com/2011/11/liquid-hand-soap-diy.html

Pondering Christmas

2011-12-26T07:53:00.001-08:00

I am In my middle age now and pondering Christmas has taken on so many dimensions since when I was a child. I grew up my first years of life in a third world country. I lived in an orphanage until I was 5. Now in my first years of being 40, being married for 20 years, being a mother of 3 [4] children I am pondering Christmas in a new way. This is growth to be stretched into knowing what one did not "know" or understand fully before. I pray that I continue to grow and that God would give me wisdom as I go through this life. I don't often think about the ramifications of my first few years of life - but when faced with the simplicity of what we should be about in this world, it brings me to what I remember. I remember longing to be saved. I remember being told Jesus was my saviour. I remember that in this process of growing up that all things have worked towards my salvation. It is a never ending process. I pray that I live with that in my mind as I raise my children, as I live with my beloved husband. All the education, wealth, travels, adventures mean nothing if we do not have faith, if we are not being saved. So today, as I remember the joys and work of this holiday season I pray that I will remember to live the hope. I pray that as I go into this new year that I cling to what is true and good. I hope that we all do. God is good. Carpe diem.

me with my two dear sweetheart daughters

our adopted farm family - who remind us of grace in this life

living the Christmas story with the help of Grandpa Dick & Grandma Maryanne

the cousins - how sweet to watch them grow up together

a blessing to see your children loved deeply

traditions w/Hanz & Franz

dear Grandma Judi

big and little boys - love the boy brotherhood

glee

the beloved and faithful godmother

seeing the star

Santa traditions

2011-12-24T07:24:00.001-08:00

We don't do much to seek out a traditional Santa moment but yesterday at the annual cookie decorating party one fell into our path. Wilder is still young enough that it is magical to see a Santa. Atticus has not met any Santa's yet but maybe next year we can introduce him. I am trying to settle into this season and enjoy the light. God is good. Carpe diem.

Christmas traditions - gingerbread houses

2011-12-21T10:12:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was one of my kids favorite traditions - making gingerbread houses with Grandma Maryanne - it is the quintessential holiday tradition of visiting the farm and playing. I am grateful for the rituals of the season. The girls crafted elaborate houses and Atticus upon seeing them coveted the candies. Luckily a visit to Grandpa Dick's shop created a wonderful boy diversion. I think he has fallen in love with the shop and the cheery man who works in it. Carpe diem. God is good.

this looks like mischief

O Christmas tree O Christmas tree

2011-12-18T18:31:00.001-08:00

It has been a doozy of a week - we had a touch of stomach flu last week and it hit all our family - not my favorites scenario but we muddled through. I have found this week to be a mad dash to finish all our presents - hopefully that will be sucessful. But today amidst listening to the church sermon I was reminded of God's grace as the starting point and the renewal of life in all this.

I think that amidst all the reading and studying I have been doing this year some things have stood out profoundly. One movie that I watched recently really struck a deep chord. It is called Aftershock. It is about a family put in an impossible situation. During a catastrophic earthquake a mother must choose between the life of her two children - a twin girl and boy. To save one the other will most probably die - both cannot be saved. The mother chooses. Both children end up surviving but their family is torn asunder. This story is about how they survive from that moment on.

Overarching themes of forgiveness and repentance were woven in with grace, sorrow, and joy. How these people dealt with an impossible situation, the misunderstandings that marked a whole life lived and then the grace given for redemption and forgiveness. It moved me to the core. I am still feeling the thoughts tumble down and in this time when my main job is mothering it really was relevant. This was a "big" circumstance in this movie and yet these are about the small circumstances as well. I had to watch a few scenes over and over they were so moving. How do we transcend our sinful natures to be the creatures God intended - grace. The simplicity and wholeness of God's grace. Now in a house filled a little more with Christmas cheer from the lights of the tree, I pray for grace. God is good. Carpe diem.

Lazy holi-daze

2011-12-14T17:08:00.001-08:00

Oh the slowness - loving the slowness - after so much busy - it is a sweetness to be slow and mellow. God is good. Carpe diem.

noticing the little things

2011-12-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

Having three children it can sometimes feel like you are running around in circles trying to meet multiple needs. This year I have learned something important. Or maybe I have remembered something important. Each moment of our life is broken up in little segments. Be there at each segment as best you can before you move on to the next one. When I go work out I know that for that next hour or so that is what I am doing. After that is something else, and then something else... This noticing and being in those moments, being present and focused, has helped me in connecting more significantly with each of my children. I know we have love unending for our children - but I also know we can get stuck in the mire of the mundane. I am grateful that God has allowed me to notice the little things so that I can be more loving and kind in the everyday. I will fail but I would rather die failing at something worthy than at nothing at all. God is good. Carpe diem.

End of Fall

2011-12-09T11:34:00.001-08:00

This week ends all our Fall curriculum. We have muddled through - this week has been a Narnia prep festivus sprinkled with the daily chores and some Violin lessons. It is good to be at work and hands to the plow - there is much joy amidst all this. God is good. Carpe diem.

learning violin

Coco Madalena

2011-12-07T06:55:00.001-08:00

Coco Madalena born December 7, 2005

Tucker posted a prayer for Coco our 2nd daughter on his post on Satellite Saint. I love that he is so articulate about these things. I am remembering her birth 6 years ago. It was a hard season but it was a good season of knowing God's faithfulness and cherishing and continuing to cherish every day of her life. I am grateful to the core for knowing that everything under Gods' sun has a purpose. Until we see you again my daughter - know that you are loved. Today we will bring Cocoblankets [a personal project we created to honor Coco and to help/comfort others] to the local NICU. God is good. Carpe diem.

Lily [age 5] with her sister Coco

running this race

2011-12-05T12:26:00.001-08:00

running this race

snapshots of my day

feeling the blessing of having children and LIFE around me

hoping to find the sun and be in it, if just for a moment

this fullness will not always be

disciplining myself to be present and run well

grateful I am not alone - that there are kindreds & soulmates

God is good.

Carpe diem.

In boy land

2011-11-30T20:42:00.001-08:00

Atticus with the twins - Dashiell & Henry

Mister is gone on a business trip. The day he left I was heading to the doctor with Atticus. I have officially acknowledged that my mellow little man is gone. In his place is a very curious, determined, loving, fiesty, cuddly boy who is turning my girl world upside down. I just spent the last few minutes trying not to let him hurt himself too badly as he climbed up and down the bunk bed his sister is now sleeping on. If his papa were here I am sure I would feel more at ease but for now I remind myself to let him be adventurous and if he falls it is not too far and it will hopefully teach him some caution - or so my girl mind thinks. God is good Carpe diem.

Finally rest for the both of us : )

Village friends

2011-11-23T07:49:00.001-08:00

this one is light on a blustery day

As the days turn darker the light contrasts so richly with the darkness. That is what I thought when I was with my friend the other evening. Having her as a friend has been such a comfort and a blessing. I count her as one of my dearest and oldest friends. But when that light is shared and shined upon your children as well - it is a manifold blessing. So today I am thankful for long standing friendships that remind me of God's faithfulness. God is good. Carpe diem.

one of the many conversations

knitting, cooking, gardening, chickens - my girls love talking to Marilyn

Dancing weekends

2011-11-19T21:00:00.001-08:00

Our lives are full on weekends right now with dance rehearsals and violin and regular season activities. As much as it is sometimes too full I love moments like today watching the girls pour their hearts and minds fully into doing something good. It is refining them in so many ways. Watching Wilder absorb the atmosphere of dance and music is one of the best things to see. It is really good to see these children [not just mine, but others in our community] growing up and working at excellence at their craft. God is good. Carpe diem.

in celebration of LIFE

2011-11-17T21:35:00.001-08:00

I was hesitant to work out today. I felt too tired, the schedule was too tight, and I almost didn't go. One thing that changed my mind was remembering the significance of today. 3 Years ago I started this day like most days. I even blogged here about the day in a very optimistic way. That very afternoon it all changed as you can read about here and had it been inches different I would not be alive or I would be gravely disabled. But that was not the story. And after a long journey to recovery that continues to be ongoing, with an amazing village of support - I am able to walk and function again. But more importantly my daughter lived through it and we all were reminded of God's sovereign grace and the importance of living and enjoying the moments you have now. It can all change in a blink of the eye - so celebrate as best you can the blessings you have. And you do have blessings. I am a different woman because of this and my family will forever be marked by it - but it will push me to live as best I can. God is good. Carpe diem.

Spanish and autumn

2011-11-16T11:01:00.001-08:00

We have been learning a little Spanish this term. I have been loving how it stretches our language and mind in very fun ways. Combine this with adventures of homeschooling in coffee houses and on beautiful landscapes and it is a fun season all around. God is good. Carpe diem

Middleschool in CC homeschool land

2011-11-15T18:45:00.001-08:00

This year continues to be a great middleschool experience for Lily and crew. Humor adds so much to keeping up morale and this cohort has lots of humor! I am grateful for how it keeps our homeschooling challenging and yet very fun. God is good. Carpe diem.

And of course what happens as part of your school life definitely comes into the home life play -- love seeing Atticus' expression when he saw the mustache on his face.

little man @ 21 months

2011-11-14T19:48:00.001-08:00

Little man is 21 months old tomorrow. I am realizing profoundly the differences between this little dude and his sisters. It is so much fun to have more boy-ness in our household. However I keep finding little cars and trains everywhere. Anything becomes a place to race your matchbox car. And coloring - he is obsessed with drawing on things. There is no table high enough to hide your crayolas.

How does this all affect homeschooling? It is hard to not have him crawl into whatever space we are in and interrupt. But with each passing week I see more and more ways that we can integrate all three ages into our learning household. I am excited this year for the holidays. I think that Atticus will add a lot to the festivities. I can't wait to see how he responds to a Christmas tree this year. God is good. Carpe diem.

Thoughts on inspiring a better garden..

2011-11-14T08:39:00.001-08:00

I do not love my garden right now. As I ponder what to do this next year one book came to mind "The Gardener's Essential" by Gertrude Jekyll.

"The main purpose of a garden is to give its owner the best and highest kind of earthly pleasure.

It is not enough to cultivate plants well;

It is just the careful and thoughtful exercise of the higher qualities that makes a garden interesting, and their absence that leaves it blank, and dull, and lifeless. I am heartily in sympathy with the feeling described in these words in a friend's letter, "I think there are few things so interesting as to see in what way a person, whose perceptions you think fine and worthy of study, will give them expression in a garden." - Wood and Garden

All that is gold...

2011-11-13T09:05:00.001-08:00

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. - J.R.R. Tolkien

This photo was taken yesterday as Wilder and I left our Suzuki practice for the morning. She had begged me to let her play in the leaves again. We had things to do and places to be but when one sees beauty like this you must stop. When your daughter looks up at you begging to take a moment to do what matters to her - you must play.

This morning after a very early wake up session with my little man I was engaged in a conversation with my oldest. This has been a launching year for Wilder and Lily. Wilder into a whole new level of schooling with many group learning moments. As much as we want our children to have play time at some point there is still a transition into the discipline of working to grow and learn in whatever areas we are being called to. It is challenging. For Lily it is working into the level of a more independent learner. It is the constant moment of being teachable and working hard. She has transitioned better than I could have imagined and yet it is not an easy task this growing up business. As parents who are managing the curriculum for our children this task of learning how best to nurture and encourage is daunting at times. We take on the mantle of parent & teacher which are two very pivotal roles in a child's life. I bring this all up to say that with each day's opening a new opportunity is created to once again be reminded that we are so easily distracted by the non important things - the "non" gold if you will. A reminder that

"Things that matter most,

must never be at the mercy of

things that matter least."

- Goethe.

That is the conversation we were having this morning. The conversation about a good God who does bring suffering at times to our lives but ultimately loves us. About being parents engaged in helping our children know the path of learning - but ultimately only the children can be the ones to walk their own path. A conversation about seeing the big picture of desiring goodness, of working at the tasks we have been given, about loving each other in the midst.

These are breathtaking days, it has been almost 3 years since I nearly died in that hit-and-run car accident - I know intimately that each day is a gift. Even as the days get darker you can see the light clearer in contrast to all the darkness. But I do not fear the dark as I used to. I know that the dark reminds us of the goodness of light. I pray that we use our time here on earth - the time which feels more and more fleeting - I pray that we use this time wisely. That we care about being loving not just yesterday but TODAY. I have children who live in the NOW moments - but aren't we all children at moments? Being an adult, especially being a parent, means that I put aside my adolescence and choose to do the hard things I must. And in doing what is right I find my heart being lightened and I am reminded of love, grace, truth and mercy. But most importantly I see the value of faith. And this is the hope I cling to. This is where my mind is whirling on this classic foggy autumnal day. God is good. Carpe diem.

Getting up to speed

2011-11-08T07:09:00.001-08:00

Really and truly teaching all these levels is harder at moments than I thought - duh. Keeping the ball up for the three levels keeps Tucker and I on our toes. But then there are those moments when you can see a faint light - Wilder is learning to read and Lily is doing and at moments mastering huge chunks of information. She drew a map freehand of the entire Western hemisphere in the matter of a few hours. Atticus, well he is keeping mostly out of trouble and obviously learning how to explore his world. Me, I am waking my rusty brain up with Latin and the such. Slowly but surely I am getting up to speed in this teaching thing - at least for a moment. God is good. Carpe diem.

snatched moments & art dates

2011-10-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

Oh I am loving snatched moments - me and mister walking and talking away an hour or two, Wilds and I walking through campus on our way to Suzuki, Atticus snuggling in chattering about "rars" {cars], Lily and I sneaking in a book moment and last but not least having art dates with good friends and awakening my creative breath and spirit. God is good. Carpe diem.

The new normal

2011-10-27T09:51:00.001-07:00

This scene is becoming the new normal. Today it was accompanied by Atticus pretending he was conducting. He must have been influenced by our study of Beethoven yesterday.

boy obsessions

2011-10-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Atticus Roux....

My son is teaching me all about how much little boys are obsessed with a capital O with all things wheel, car, truck, train, plane...you get the theme. I knew that boys liked these things but I did not "know". Now I know. I love you dear little man. God is good. Carpe diem.

dancing fellowship

2011-10-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

It has been such a busy day. Foundations CC this morning. Teaching the 3rd week has gone well. I am truly impressed with the tutors in our crew. I am delighting in tutoring my new Masters class. Right now we have a slumber party. Later today Lily was participating in her 2nd week at one of her new dance activities. Life is and feels abundant and overflowing. Here is a snap of some of the kids in the HYPE group that Lily auditioned and was able to join in. God is good. Carpe diem.

Time to recharge

2011-10-17T08:23:00.001-07:00

Needed: time to recharge - me and mister had some lovely alone time and breathing space - thank goodness for godmothers and grandparents who love on our kids!

What does Classical Conversations Challenge A look like?

2011-10-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering what this year will look/feel like for Lily as she began her Challenge level classes. It has been a good/tough/good/hard/fun/amazing/doable learning curve. It is a transition to another level of learning. Even more so it is a transition to becoming a young adult in a profound and practical way. She is one of the younger students in her class. I may notice nuances of difference but in general I think she is keeping her own. With each week she learns what it means to step up to this level. I am very grateful that she is enjoying this whole experience so much.

In terms of the class environment. It is usually a very lively and fun group. However, that being said, they are still really on task and engaged students in the subjects they are learning. This is the group that has had the possibility of at least 3 years of Foundations grammar under their belt. They are a strong cohort with core members that help keep the vision and propel the momentum of the class along. They meet once a week. Lily often has study sessions with fellow classmates on another day of the week. They are often full of laughter and yet work is still done. One thing that strikes me about the classroom is that the students [12 total] are all engaged in the work at hand. Everyone has something to say or contribute. They are all lively learners. Truly it is more than I could have hoped. Her tutor, Mrs. Lancaster, is patient and hard working as she leads them through the work they are doing. It is a win win for Lily and our family that she has transitioned so gracefully into this next level.

fun and silly characters in this class

Tucker and I each take a part of her work and help her hone her skills and learn the topic at hand. We are both learning Latin alongside her. It is transforming to be a whole learning family. I worry about how it will continue with Wilder starting the Foundations level this week and me teaching one of the classes. However Lily has had 5 weeks to ramp up and start and that alone will help us navigate this very full workload. Here are a few photos of the classroom environment. It truly thrills me to have such a great cohort group. God is good. Carpe diem.

These are modern homeschoolers. They vary in personality but they are a good group of kids. I can't wait to see where this year takes them.

Visiting Mt. Hope Chronicles

2011-10-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

A maven according to a Wikipedia definition is a term to describe someone who understands something and being willing to share their knowledge of what they have learned. They are by nature people who help by sharing their wisdom. As a woman in the middle of this life project of growing up and doing my work whole heartily I seek mavens in my journey. Heidi aka Mt. Hope Chronicles is one of those rare women. I met her via reading her blog and sensed a kindred spirit. It is chalk full of inspiration and beauty. We have been on similar life paths. Over the years we have met here and there a few times. It has been one of the blessings of this online life. Last week I felt this pressing need to go visit her - I came away so encouraged. It was good to be reminded and have a touch point of a fellow traveller. We have so many common interests that our conversations trip merrily along despite how little "real" time we actually spend. She lives with her husband and family in the country near a grove of aspens. They carve out their days balancing the needs of 4 children and a full family life. They also homeschool and also participate in a CC chapter near them. One of the things that refreshed me was seeing the real workings of space and life played out in another family. I have found her blog to be so helpful that it has been a blessing to actually cultivate a real moment here and there over the years. We got to see the new space that they had carved out to homeschool in. It was lovely and I was so happy to see them have room for the full life and activity of homeschooling 4 children. I loved the pack and play and the arrangement of desks and gathering spaces.

Wilder & Leif in the new schoolroom

Heidi in her new school room

playing in the blackberry hideouts - the girls loved being introduced to all the nooks and crannies of their country kingdom

looking at a birds nest

Lily and Levi walking in the aspen grove

We are all figuring out what works best for our families. I think as we continue to grow and realize the fullness of the tasks set before us it helps to be encouraged. I love her aesthetic - she harkens from a good group of women - the Poet Garden women. It is thrilling to see someone bring a lovely and yet practical real approach to family/homeschool/life spaces. Especially as we both have toddlers/infants and preK/K and then older children. That is a wide range to be "living" out the homeschool life.

I laugh because our schedules are full, really full, but making time seemed best before the season took off with full wings. It was a sunny fall morning. I literally threw clothes on the littles and ushered the big girl out the door and made it to her door by 9. We live less than an hour away. We had about 3 hours and between the children chattering on and exploring and us running through all the tangents and catching up the morning flew by. Anyhoo, I had been meaning to post on my visit. She and I both love photography. I love seeing the real spaces people do their work in. It was a beautiful day to capture. I had not posted the pics yet but when I saw this post she wrote - honestly it was so nice and it reminded me to remember to write of the good blessings and people we meet along the way. We are each other's angels. God is good. Carpe diem.

being a life learner: studying Latin as a middle aged woman

2011-09-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

I am in my 40s. The last time I studied Latin was when I was in college in my early 20s. It seems remarkable to me that I would be studying Latin so that I could teach and learn along with my 11 year old daughter. Tucker is studying Latin too. And this year Wilder is learning Latin in her school studies when she is working to learn the translation of John 1: 1-7. Can you see that this will be a more full Latin immersion year for us? However, learning a subject as a family helps keep you accountable to learning. And as a middle aged woman [I am not afraid of that title anymore] it seems more remarkable to me that we are actually actively pursuing learning. Latin is hard and yet not so if you enter in methodically learning the forms. It surprised me to realize how much I had retained from teaching these last 3 years different key parts of the Latin grammar. I think that as my children have been getting a foundation in some small way I have too. That is thrilling. So, I am encouraged to continue pursuing making this a discipline as I see the common language we will all share and I can imagine that this will lead to other languages as well.

Also, doing study groups can be helpful, more helpful than I imagined. Even the adults can study : ) together.

love for the mama can keep me going for miles and miles : )

our daily study group

At the homefront, schooling 3 continues to be no small thing. It brings me to my knees in repentance and in happy thanksgiving. They are all such different learners and we have been blessed to homeschool in such a rich community of homeschool opportunities. It makes the work lighter and more enjoyable. And yet still the reality of it keeps me on task. We have a pile that I will call Mt. Laundry in my bedroom. It threatens to become a mountain range of Mt. Laundries if I don't get them sorted and put away. Lucky for me it is a family affair to keep this little cottage humming. But we are bursting to the seams at the moment and we must get our house in order again. I wonder if that is the law of nature - expand and compress. God is good. Carpe diem.

building a small, very small family farm - chicken coop

2011-09-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Morning and noon the children have been watching and sometimes "helping" their Papa build a chicken coop. It is more exciting than I imagined and yet creating is one of those fundamental needs of our soul.

That is all to say that I think that this will be a fun season in the family life. We are bursting to the seams with our work of the day. God is good. Carpe diem.

summerwilder

2011-09-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

Not everyone understands our hearts. When we find people who want to commune and fellowship with us it is a gift from above. That is one thing I have learned from my little girl. She is a lover of people. A gentle and soft spirit with an exuberant exterior. I have seen her embrace people and more often than not they are stopped in their tracks and reminded to connect. For being only 4 years old she has a kindness and care towards others that often surprises me. Sometimes we do not remember what truly is important in a moment and so we push the connection aside. That is why I sit here marvelling on how God has brought this little sweet girl to remind me to embrace and connect. I pray that she feels the love around her and knows that her spirit is loved and wanted and truly needed in this world. Thank you Wilder Rose for loving on us. I pray your heart strengthens and that you will grow in wisdom, faith, and love. God is good. Carpe diem.

late summer blackberry

2011-09-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Riding along the river you can smell the ripe blackberries. Even as the weather cools you can smell through the dank earth smells the sweetness of the fruit. We almost always go pick blackberries in August. This summer it was in early September. Packed into the beginning of a week already jam packed it was just the right slowness to remind myself to be where I am at. The thorns prick your hand as you reach in trying to gather the berry dangling just out of your reach. There must be an awareness as you step into the bushes or your legs and arms can be scratched and bleeding with in seconds. The heat and the buzzing bees all mingle with the lazy conversation as you fill little buckets full to heaping berries. Just enough fruit to make jam or coffee cake or add to your ice cream. All enough enticement to keep you at the game of reaching for just one more berry. God is good. Carpe diem.

carpe diem mamas

2011-09-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

homeschool biking mamas

Homeschool co-op classes have started and that has rounded the homeschool mamas up. This year we have squeezed in a little time to fit in some fitness and health. It was fun to go for a quick 21 miler with the ladies and then get back to our work. It was a gorgeous cool fallish day. We are hoping to squeeze in some more of these rides. We jokingly called it the carpe diem mama bikers - our mantra - seizing the day while we can! God is good. Carpe diem.

our presence

2011-09-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence."

THICH NHAT HANH

Right now at this moment as I type it is a gorgeous sunny Sunday morning. We are going to leave on our adventures for the day but for now Wilder runs around wearing fairy wings and a twirly dress singing and playing merrily. Atticus is carrying around his favorite car to push around and then driving his ride on car around the house from living room to kitchen. Every few moments he cries out for help as he has climbed some piece of furniture and must get help to get down. Lily and Tucker sit in his office talking about their latest project together - building the chicken coop and designing it. I am still in my pjs having read one of the most fascinating books about raising girls in this age. That is the morning glimpse before we take off for our adventures.

My stack of books is filled with Sax and Hicks right now and it is stretching my mind to the edges. The conversations I am having with Tucker, with my mama friends about the job we are doing and the culture we live in are so helpful to sorting out my priorities. Being surrounded by my creative, strong, and loving children reminds me on a daily basis of the sacred task set before Tucker and I. Being present with all my senses - being there in the midst - that is a huge challenge. Truly I thank God that Tucker and I parent together and that we have a good community village of aunts, uncles, friends, and family. As I gather my wits and organize the homeschooling - already teaching Lily now and starting Wilder more formally - it brings me to my knees with the enormity of the task. And yet grace is sufficient and it is one step at a time. Seeing Lily move into this next level with more ease than I had anticipated gives my heart strength to persevere.

As we recall the events of today - 9/11 - and remember the valiant fight people had not only to save their own lives, but to help others, I am reminded that life is a gift. Our lives can change suddenly but really what is most important is that we are living out the mundane life with INTENTION --- now, here, today. For truly as we think on personal events we have gone through or something like the 9/11 event that rocked many Americans together - today may be all we have - how am I going to live it? That may be one of the hardest things to remember. So I am thinking on this purpose as we seek to be carefully and lovingly present with our little loved ones. God is good. Carpe diem.

into the woods with children

2011-09-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

The flexibility of homeschooling can be that you take those moments in the day that are often prescribed for indoor schooling and go explore nature by just being in it. Yesterday in the heat of the morning I gathered six children and went on an explore. It was just long enough to remind us of other worlds and landscapes full of life. And then back we came to study some American history and geography. God is good. Carpe diem.

Is it time for middle school already?

2011-09-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Lily's first day at Challenge A

Today was the first day of Lily's Challenge A class. We are still doing Classical Conversations for one day a week. It is a day when she and her cohorts [ a class of 12 total] meet once a week with a tutor. The tutor/director leads the children in the subjects they are studying. Parents are still very involved in the class and in teaching their kids. So in many senses it is similar to the Foundations/Essentials level but the kids go for 30 weeks and it is a much faster and more intense pace and this is a huge transition to independent learning skills. I felt a sense of panic as I realized this was a transition from elementary to middle school. She did great. I was the one with butterflies about all this year was bringing. I think she is well on the road to being an independent learner but she has the cushion of learning gently and slowly this process.

The day started off with Latin class and this was a glimpse of the first kids there this morning. Latin is a fun language to learn and I think that the kids have a really good chance of learning this thouroughly. The children and the tutor are such an awesome mix of people. The subjects are Latin, Geography, Science, Writing, and Rhetoric. I am very encouraged we have found ourselves here. At home we are adding in our continued studies in History, Art [painting, drawing, dance, piano, etc.], Spelling, Handwriting, Typing, Math, Poetry, Bible, Greek, - and some home ec/homey stuff like Cooking, and raising chickens is on the agenda this year.

Lastly it is very sweet to have Lily be able to continue her schooling with our godson Evander. He is a year and a half older but with Lily going a level ahead they are still in the same cohort group. This picture reminded me of a picture of Van and Lily when they were going to preschool. God is good. Carpe diem.

Evander and Lily 2003

climbing a mountain

2011-08-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

On the summit of Mt. McLoughlin - it was Rogue's birthday climb and I can't remember if this was before or after we drank the whiskey : )

Lily and me - this girl climbs like a mountain goat - no fear

this is Lily with Frank our fearless guide - he was a godsend

this man watched the littles all day - he is a keeper!

Wilder standing in the midst of a future schoolhouse

in the land of boys - a fierce place as you can see

Unbelievably September is nearing at a rapid pace. August has flown in on wings and the last days are just upon the horizon. This weekend Lily and I climbed the first [and for me possibly the last] arduous mountain we have ever climbed. With a group of 5 adults and 4 children [ages 9-12] we hiked for almost 12 hours. I may be wrong on that number but I got delirious towards the end so the time began to blur. Regardless it was epic for us. A journey up that seemed hard fought at moments. A celebration at the top and then the most difficult part of the journey began - coming down the mountain. I think it is easy to assume it will be hardest going up but I found the descent to be brutal at times. Rocks that I had scrambled over on the way up became perilous boulders to be navigated. All that being said it was good bragging rights to finish the climb from top to bottom. The children did phenomenally well considering the time involved. Perseverance for young people is such a good skill to develop. A highlight of the journey was a man named Frank who had reached the summit at least 20 times before and was able to lead us effortlessly up the mountain and down again. Truly it sealed in my mind the reason why we look for inspiration and mentors to guide us in the journey. And now home again with the family I thank God for all the adventures, learning experiences, and good times. But mostly I thank God that we are now home again savoring the memories of a journey that was epic. God is good. Carpe diem.

family beach vacation pt.1

2011-07-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

This is our second family beach vacation of the summer. This one was with my brothers and families [6 adults and 9 kids]. I still need to unpack and get sorted before mister leaves for a week. I don't even have my camera pics loaded so I will just show some of my snaps as a placeholder and a reminder to send my sister-in-laws pics.

The ocean is a glorious place to live in the heat of summer. Seeing cousins gather is history in the making.

Call it a clan, call it a network,
call it a tribe, call it a family.

Whatever you call it,
whoever you are,
you need one.

- Jane Howard

I pray that mercy and grace will find us all - God is good. Carpe diem.

squeezing every last ounce

2011-07-29T01:28:00.000-07:00

Back from a late night adventure with my girls and I realize that this is the summer that we are squeezing out every last moment. I think we will need the quiet of next week to breathe for a bit. July was our beach month and it has saturated sand into most of our clothes and into all of my children's fingernails. They loved the ocean and for the most part the ocean loved them. There was one beach that we walked on that was made mostly of little smooth rocks and right next to the ocean's tide pools. The smooth rocks made walking harder than one would have thought from a distance.

Going to bed so full of life lived that the children [and the parents] sleep hard.

Quote for the day:

"One should not pursue goals that are easily achieved..."

- Einstein

I am thinking on that as I finish my current project. I hope that these days are finding you full and living well. God is good. Carpe diem.

Braces ON day

2011-07-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Braces ON day! After months of anticipation the deed was done. I think that it hurt more than she thought. She still was very happy to be on the road to getting this project started...and eventually.. done. Last night she was in a lot of pain and this morning still very much so. Today is supposedly the worst day. The good news is that we are working on a new concept - how to stay ahead of the pain and manage it. Poor baby it will be an adjustment but she is doing well and beginning to understand how to deal with it.

In other news, Wilder went to her first dental appointment for a cleaning. Dental care for someone with heart issues is always a concern but it was good to get it done. She charmed the staff and has made fast friends with everyone. That is the Wilder way. I often hear her before I see her.

It was interesting both girls spontaneously hugged the women who were helping them that day [the dental assistant and the orthodontia assistant]. Both women seemed so surprised by the gesture that it occurred to me that kids don't often react that way to them. This whole process of thanking them for the care given. It made me happy to see the joy on the women's faces and the gratitude on my girls faces. We had a good discussion about how good it is to get good care by specialists. They enjoyed their dental day. God is good. Carpe diem.

berries

2011-07-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

We missed strawberry season. It just flew by without a berry picked. This is not our berry season and yet somehow we graciously found ourselves out at the farm picking berries this week. This is the first year that the boy is entering into harvesting. He actually picked a few and then toddled around grabbing hand fulls of dirt.

Wilds of course picked and ate a few. She may be one of our worker bee collectors because she loves to eat them. Lily is of course a seasoned harvester but distracted by all things outdoors. We were picking tayberries and blueberries from the farm. Grandma Maryanne was listening to the nonstop chatter from the kids and holding Atticus. He loves getting his hands dirty and all farm wheels. Grandpa Dick was working on a new deck so the girls were learning about farming tricks, measuring, but mostly about a farmer's patience and hard work. All this capped off with playing dress up and running about on the farm.

God is good. Carpe diem.

camping with the comforts of a home

2011-07-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Can you see the magic of being outdoors and how children light up? They were thrilled to be out and playing with family and friends. And being out in nature is some sort of divine thing.

Too many things to write but we have not camped for 2 summers since I was pregnant with Atticus. This was his first camping trip and it was a beaut!~ We went with our friends to their families property on the beach. Being able to camp right next to the ocean in a toddler friendly campsite is AMAZING! The kids loved the freedom to visit the old haunts and the little men were all contained as much as they needed to be. Atticus did not like the tent the first night but settled in better the second night. Hopefully he will be a champ by our next camping trip in August. Wilder was 2 last time she camped and a 4 year old camping is FABULOUS. Pardon my all caps emotion but despite my tiredness we had a really good family trip with friends and that is a blessing indeed. Highlights: beach, beach, beach, rain and then shine and then cloudy; hikes, fort building, fires, good eats, finding starfishes, Uncle Paul's potatoes, Aunt Nan's pancakes, Lish exploring, the Squire twins, Atticus loved...loved the ocean, Patty & Dan's first trip since twinning.

God is good. Carpe diem.

pride & prejudice, the farmers market and state testing

2011-07-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

This summer continues to be driven by our pool life. I am so glad we have not added other camps into this season. We had a great day considering how much we had to get done. Today Lily had her state testing so we dropped her off to do her morning of testing fun. I grabbed and kidnapped a fellow homeschooling parent to go get coffee and chat over some books.

farmer's market love

Cracks me up - the price for a moment of hanging with my peeps - a coffee shop with a sandbox. It was a crazy fun adventure. I am looking forward to the days when I can bring the littlest of our crew with me and not have to chase them around. Luckily some of my friends like my kids enough to scoop them up before they toddle into the road or out of the crowded sandbox. Needless to say it was fun and the farmer's market had the most amazing berries.

the Pride & Prejudice reading

The afternoon was spent rushing to Lily's reading with her friends of the script Pride & Prejudice. Most of the players are in her Challenge A class and it is going to be fun to see them do this project. I cannot believe we have arrived with a child in middle school already! Yikes!

Van and Lily: Mr. & and Mrs. Bennett

Tomorrow we are off to our first beach camping trip - I am looking forward to hanging with some of my favorite people and RELAXING. I know that may sound crazy when you put the words toddler and camping together but I think it may actually happen. Pray for us - God is good! Carpe diem.

the twins are 1

2011-07-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

Dashiell & Henry

Paul & Patty - I've know this brother sister duo since highschool

I can't help it ... the twins are 1 - very fun to see this darling family growing up : ) God is good. Carpe diem.

daily tangling and park play

2011-07-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

at the park on a summer day

I have a photo shoot this weekend for a big family gathering. I mean BIG family gathering- lots of siblings and a grand patriarch and matriarch moment. I am very excited. I feel the Italian familia energy gathering. We shall see what I can make of it but I hope that my chronicling will be a gift to them.

hide and seek

seeking

I have been taking photos since I was 10 years old. It has always been my passion and an outlet. If you know me then you know I am a verbal processor. But I am realizing how much this photography that I do on a daily basis is another way of continuing my desire to be creative. I think that it is my non verbal way of expressing myself. It is not merely a recording of an event but it is a fragment or a full finished sentence on a subject at the moment in my head then birthed into a living thing.

finding joy

Some of my favorite photographs by others capture something that is in essence timeless. I think that is something I aim for. I am sure in this day and age we will be inundated by personal images. The technology is too available. So in this age - why create more data to be stored? In essence this is one of the hand prints I leave after I am gone. When I almost died a few years ago I remember the rushing sound in my head, the green energy of the car barreling forward to hit me. I recall the loud connection as I was hit and then the silence of coming back. It reminds me of the darkened room where we held our daughter for the last time. The cocoon of those moments where she was last here. Now in the light of where I am living that impulse to savor each moment given breathes in me. I suppose this is quintessential me. I wish I could see other's around me being transparent and in community this way as often. I have found here and there soul mates who strive to tangle out their daily living. It is a gift. So, I hope somewhere my tangling out is a gift to someone. All I know is that this is what I must do and hopefully in the process of it I bring beauty and shine some light on the glory of the creation God has made. If you have ever wavered on the merits of sharing via blog or journal, etc. this life journey - I would say please do. For in the sharing the beauty there are oceans of connection, of community, of process and grace opens up new landscapes unimaginable. God is good. Carpe diem.

living the summer life

2011-07-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

We have been extending the festivities of this last holiday for a bit. But then again maybe that is the nature of summer life. We live up to the late hours fully moving. The kids tumble into bed bone tired and sleep deeply. Then they wake up sun kissed and ready for the new adventures of the day. The rhythm of the weeks have begun to unfold. How is it that these days flow so quickly and yet each moment is so delicious? I have been working on trying to enjoy the chaos of all this life. Sometimes I think that is not a skill I am always able to do. But the serendipity of finding yourself in unexpected and beautiful moments --- that seems to me to be about being open to the possibilities. I am loving the community we have found in our homeschooling families. The look one can throw across a crowd that says we are in this through thick and thin. There are some amazing new adventures being embarked on this year and I am thrilled to have our family be a part of them. I don't have much to say but I wanted to record a few of the moments of the last few days: back yard fireworks with family friends, playgrounds for big and little kids, sunsets with the family, conversations with like minded people, Popsicles, and fresh garden food, swimming, bike rides, the smell of the woods in summer - all of this I breathe in and know that it is the gift of the season. God is good. Carpe diem.

freedom: Tibi ipsi esto fidelis.

2011-07-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

My word for the year is NOURISH. Yesterday as I contemplated what freedom is I also pondered what it meant to be nourished in freedom. To be able to explore and be oneself in a loving and present way. I don't know where that little rabbit trail will lead me but I am beginning to understand more of the idea of

This above all:
To thine own self be true,
for it must follow as dost the night the day,
that canst not then be false to any man.

- Shakespeare (Hamlet) inspired by Socrates (Know thyself).

in Latin

Tibi ipsi esto fidelis.

4th of July

2011-07-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

the flag outside our door

Bach festival

welcome

Rogue lovies

family biking

little man

summer evening

It has been a good summer weekend and as we break before we see the fireworks tonight I wanted to quickly jot down some things. We are resting after doing the Butte to Butte this morning. I remember walking it the year I was pregnant with Atticus. Today he walked across the finish line with me. It is definitely not an easy thing to do these events with kids but listening to Wilder encourage those around her as we walked was encouraging to me. Lily got to run the race with some friends and that was a first for her. We spent time with different families and it was good to see the family love. I loved one moment in paticular during one of our walks when the older child picked up Wilder [who is getting big enough to be heavy to carry even for me and Tucker] and carried her through the thick grass. I remember being carried and the adoration of the big kids from little kids. It was a sweet moment. Also the laughter and fun of adults enjoying each others company and children enjoying each other. I love the heat of this weather and the holiday. July is our beach month. I feel as if it has been awhile since we have been there and July is the perfect month. But for now we are here and the heat is lovely.

Things I loved from this weekend in no particular order: riding along the river to dinner and dessert - our family biking with our friends and their kids, ripe nectarines, late evening talks, the sisterhood/siblinghood, Bach, farmers markets, birthday celebrations, fish tacos, pavlova, walks in the summer into the woods and by the trickling creeks, community races and all the fanfare, rest, play, early morning coffee and conversation, bare feet, leisure - I am grateful we live in a very different country than most people. I am reminded of the privileges of this and pray that we remember the sacrifices of many for these freedoms and this good life. God is good. Carpe diem.

some mama time at a vineyard

2011-07-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

summer wind and back country roads, good wine and conversation, a moment of rest and comraderie for homeschooling mamas

This week I snuck away for a little mama time with some of my homeschooling mama pals. It was a quick but very needed moment down a back country road into a wine soaked haven. The day was not sunny when we started but by the time we ended up on the patio above the tasting room it was beginning to look like a classic summer day. Things I loved: each wine taste paired with a complementary food and an explanation by a very thorough and enthusiastic vintner, photos taken in the moment in the darkened tasting room cave, the real conversations of women who rarely get quiet moments to talk and be, the silence of nature and rest, the humor of writers who know exactly what your work looks like day to day. All these things fed my soul and helped me recharge a bit. I love photographing and being surprised by moments being captured exactly the way I see them...Here are a few of those photos..

sweet Miss Molly

the terrace

sweet Miss Anna

the happy vintner [sp?]

the sistine chapel moment in the wine cave

miss Anna after the Pinot Noir

very Julia Margaret Cameron

God is good. Carpe diem.

Sunday morning

2011-06-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

We find ourselves waking up now with the sun shining brightly into our windows and bathing the bed with a soft warm light. Most mornings little man is beside me after having woken up sometime in the early hours of the morning. He has been weaned at least a month now and I am beginning to be reminded a little of having my own body back somewhat. I have loved nursing babes but when it is time, it is time. His 8 side molar teeth [I am not a dentist so I may just be making up the fact that they are molars] are almost all in and he now has 16 teeth [I think] in his mouth. The world of chewing and food is opening up to him.

This morning Tucker rose first, made coffee for us and read. Then I woke up and after a bit each of the children wandered down [Atticus called and we got him - but soon he will sleep in a toddler bed and be able to wander down himself.]

Right at this moment I can hear the children chattering on the back porch about the bee that is hurt that they captured in a Mason jar to study. Atticus is toddling around chattering nonsensical words with repeated murmurings of the three words he knows: Mama, Papa, Ball. Tucker sits amidst it all smoking his pipe and glancing at a book while the girls race around him on their scooters.

Lily always wants to have her nose in a book these days: this is the Mysterious Benedict Society

Lily watched the kids while we went on a little coffee date. Atticus napped. Lily and Wilder did puzzles, played games, and made lunch. Can I say HALLELUJAH that Lily is confident enough to watch the kids for a bit while we take a moment to chat sans children. It is a beautiful gift for us.

Mama & Papa date courtesy of Lily love babysitting the littles for an hour or so = AWESOME

We are off to a family bike ride and other adventures - it is a summer Sunday. God is good. Carpe diem.

lily loves at this moment

2011-06-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

Lily's current loves are so representative of where she is at this moment in life

reading Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice - she and her friends are going to act in an adaptation of the story. Lily will be Mrs. Bennett and you can often find her thinking and talking about this fun project
dancing - she just auditioned for the 2011 Narnia cast and found out that she will be playing a Tree, a Christmas Sprite, and a Robe Bearer - she and her friends are all a twitter about the parts they will get to be
chicken coops - she has had a sudden fever to have us build a family chicken coop after visiting a friends new coop and then going out to her grandma and grandpa's farm and visiting their chickens - we are talking FEVER: reading books, making model coop houses, drawing pictures, going to a store that specializes in gardens and coops, and generally talking our ears off...

There is more but these are the highlights that strike me as so singularly fun and different about this age of following your passions and dreams. I love the creativity of it all. God is good. Carpe diem.

fun people - your children

2011-06-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

me and my Rosy breeze bike on a solo trip

This has been a good catch up day. Being gone as a mother means you have laundry and housekeeping, etc to catch up on. My husband built new shelves and a toddler bed and kept the kiddos for 3 whole days safe and happy. Leaving them and heading out on the road into the eastern part of this state I knew it would be a good trip but I also knew that I would miss them all. Telescoping out from your everyday life gives you such good perspective. I haven't been on my own since Atticus was born and even then I don't often do mama only things.

Wilder's 50 piece puzzle that she put together by herself

That brings me to today. I am seeing more and more amidst the mundane how fun my children are. Not that I didn't see that before but sometimes when you are so close to the work at hand you cannot appreciate it. Wilder came up to me this morning and said "Mama, you must come see something. You will not believe it. Will not!" She led me by the hand to the living room and there on the floor was a 50 piece puzzle that she had put together all by herself. It kinda really surprised me because it was not an easy one at all. Later today as she was in time out she came to me very tearfully. Apologizing for her actions and asking for forgiveness. Then she said "Thank you Mama." I asked her why she said that and she said, "Thank you for telling me what to do because I want to do what is right. And I want to be with my family." Truly that was a blessing to hear. I hope I remember her heart stirrings and walk patiently into situations.

she is fun one to have a conversation with - and I love her and her Papa's rapport

this girl has a good laugh

Lily and I were reading our bible study this morning. Tucker was already at work. As we were reading there was a sensitive topic. It was good to know that she and I can talk carefully over the real things in the bible. We had a really good conversation. I don't remember having these conversations when I was 11. Later we worked on our various things and then after coming home from errands we sat and talked as a family. Lily and Tucker are two peas in a pod. They have such similar senses of humor. It did my heart good to be with my family. And I was reminded that our kids are fun people and that the conversations around here are just going to get more and more interesting. God is good. Carpe diem

fathers - the papa in this house

2011-06-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

It is father's day and I am once again so grateful to get to see and to celebrate the Papa of this house. My history with father's is not a good one. I was an orphan and then my adopted father was not a nice man in many ways that we shall not go into here. When I became a believer I heard that our heavenly father was a substitute in some ways for our earthly fathers if we did not have them. When Tucker and I became parents I was literally amazed at what a natural father Tucker was. That is not to say that he understood it all immediately or easily. But he was so patient and kind and forbearing with his children. He consistently shows them love and inspires and nurtures their world. It is through this that I understand more fully why God created marriages and why children need a mother AND a father. I pray that our son will grow up with the integrity his father has and with the love and faith that truly matters in this world.

These images of Tucker and Atticus really touched me because I realized I get to see a beautiful relationship unfolding. We cannot make the choices for our children. They will live their own lives. But I pray we can love them through it all. Happy father's day to all the good men out there doing the work at hand. This is the time - you are changing the world by being good fathers to these children. God is good. Carpe diem.

testing

2011-06-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

the audition

Tests are hard. They may be good but they are by their nature a challenge. Whatever the subject, the idea of doing well or of failure worries most of us. This end of the year season is a time of testing. State tests happen for homeschoolers by a mandated law. This is one of Lily's testing years. I have heard that the curriculum in public schools is geared towards the momentum of test taking. I know from experience that it is an acquired skill to learn how to take tests. All that being said, I love the challenge of what testing brings out. The opportunity for refinement, for honing skills, for dialogue. Some days it can be mild but sometimes it seems to be the crux of a thing. Today was an interesting day. As Lily prepares to take her state tests and study, today she also auditioned for Narnia again. The idea of an audition is still a new one for her. I think she is beginning to understand that it can be a more serious thing in that you have one audition to introduce yourself. Only you stand before the judges. It is quite a difference to be tested in that way. As adults we don't always put ourselves under that kind of microscope. As children you are constantly being tested in one way or another. Today was the audition - there was a quick meeting, then a short rehearsal of a audition dance, then auditioning in front of judges and also being video recorded. I should say that she did fine and she will hear results back in a week. The real crux of the process was learning what this kind of testing is. And how she must enter into it. That was the challenge.

warming up

pep and prep talk

more warm ups

instructions

practice

learning the new dance

watching and learning the dance

One thing that we are constantly trying to balance in homeschooling is being involved and yet encouraging her towards independence. She is becoming more and more capable at so many things. But the process to see the "big" picture of what the effort is for at the moment is still an ongoing journey. Today she did well and yet our biggest dialogue was in understanding the idea that some tests can determine the course of which direction she has an opportunity to go. We are proud of her but we also want her to work hard and to participate to her 100% level. If that means she is in a smaller role - so be it. As long as she is engaged and working at doing her best. We love the young person she is developing into and the journey of it all is causing us to pray daily for wisdom, grace, and love. I am grateful that she has such engaged parents but I also know that what she chooses will define who she is regardless of our efforts. I don't know if I have explained all of this well. It has been a long day. But God is faithful to these processes and I know Lily's character is growing with each moment. God is good. Carpe diem.

writing here

2011-06-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

I have been writing on this blog for over 4 years. It has really become a place of safety and yet there is the on and off question of feeling free to write as freely as I can. I am chronicling my life for me, for my family. I don't do baby books. I don't know if what I am chronicling is important to anyone else but I know that it has mattered to my family to have this written dialogue. I think that is enough. I hope that things will get honed as I learn better writing skills. I know that my life has become exponentially busier and that has made me have to make a more conscientious effort but do it I will, I must. I pray for mercy and grace in this space and I am thankful for the community that I know exists via comment or conversation.

Here is a post from a fellow blogger that speaks to some of my feelings in this process of writing..

http://www.deniseandrade.com/2011/06/a-happier-me/

I love that Tucker writes and other friends do too. I wish people would write more it is such a good way to stay in community. But for now I am glad that this medium exists and connects where it can. God is good. Carpe diem.

family weeks

2011-06-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

It has been the first weekend of summer which appropriately started off with a wedding in the country. I must confess that this cold and then hot then cold again weather has made me a bit confused. Regardless it continues to be true that I am very distracted and not doing well on my housecleaning. That needs to change because we are very, and I mean very disorganized right now. Tomorrow first on the list [and I am sure my husband is happy - will be LAUNDRY. The never ending monster of a task. I think I need to purge and purge until we are streamlined to a few good clothes...and yet the weakness for variety often slays that energy. Well, tomorrow is a new day.

2nd Cousin Hannah and her new husband Michael

menfolk

little man with his papa

girls of summer

cousin love - Natalie and Wilder

cousin love - Lily and Harrison

Portland birthday love for Lily

Aunt Summer and the boys

cousin love - the boys: Harrison & Atticus

little man

So, weddings - I have not downloaded the weddings from my camera but my trusty notebook iPhone took a few fun ones. Mimi and Pop celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary with all the family children and that was fun for the kids [adults] and the grandkids to visit. Two of my nephews [D.J. and Nick] graduated from high school. And my good friend Patty's boy Samuel did too. Others from the "village" graduated and celebrated as well. It is good to see all the hard work and finished projects. I can't wait to see what adventures are embarked on next.

bike with pedals

learning to ride

learning to ride and balance

Atticus loves bikes

flower child

this boy is ALL boy

she loves the outdoors and the flowers

Also, with the summer wind came a hand-me-down bike from the cousins for Wilder to ride. She has a balance bike but does not have a bike with pedals. We took it out today and Tucker thinks within a few sessions she will be biking. That is fun - one of the big childhood hurdles. The little man loves wheels and couldn't resist trying the bike too. Lily was even riding it and she looked so big. To end the day we had a picnic dinner and some ice cream. Tucker and Lily went off to a backpacking class and the littles stayed with me. Now it is off to bed to read and then to sleep, oh to sleep. Did I mention we are weaning the little man in the last week. - Wow another big step. God is good. Carpe diem.

to be or not to be a teacher

2011-06-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Wilder and Mrs. M

It is the end of a year. Celebrations, graduations, the beginning of summer weddings. Nostalgia creeps in as I contemplate all these marks of change. I am considering, strongly moving towards tutoring again this year. It will keep me engaged in this process of homeschooling my children. I have another 17 years of this and like any marathon one must keep the fire burning and strong. Gleaning what I can from the teachers and examples around me inspires me as I press forward. I studied to be a teacher in college. It was one of the things I wanted to do. However after working in the classrooms for a bit I decided public domains were not for me. Now years later I am realizing that for the last 11 years I have been teaching and I love it. It inspires me to grow and learn myself. I pray for wisdom in this process. I pray for grace. I am thankful for all the village around that fosters the desire to be a part of this in my children's life and others. This summer is Latin and Art classes. In the fall we are into the classics again. Good times.

Tucker John and Wilder Rose age 4 at the beach party

sweet friends

We are soon to celebrate 20 years of marriage coming up. I am grateful for this man walking beside me, carrying me, being my partner in this. As our kids continue to grow up I am grateful for our continued conversation. It really is good to marry your best friend. God is good. Carpe diem.

summer night walking

2011-06-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

Trying to keep writing up and chronicling the everyday of this life. Summer evenings and their long walks beckon our little family to the river we live near. The pug needs more walks and the family thrives on an end of the day outing.

the beginning of our evening walk

walking to the river

the children love to run at first and then the pace slows down

the pug got tired fast

the sisterhood and talks of fairy houses and picking flowers

these delicious men

heading home

the little boy learning to walk faster and the pudgy pug

it is the end of the evening walk

will the teething ever end?

2011-05-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

the boy asks imploringly - will the teething ever end - molars top and bottom biting in on both sides of his gums - YIKERS!!

teething never stops

still there is sweetness

little man

Lily - 11 years a snapshot of now

2011-05-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

Lily Valentina - these photos were taken this afternoon. You paused in the midst of your Pride and Prejudice marathon to glance over and I had to take the photos which you obliged. You have always been both a quiet and gentle spirit and yet you can be so lively and chatty at times. But this is a quintessential Lily moment as you absorb whatever you are expierencing at the moment. You love to dance, you read incessantly and write and draw in your spare and sparest moments. You started a blog this year and you love thinking of posts to write. You adore your little brother and love your sister but struggle at moments with the patience all big sisters must learn when little sisters crowd your space. Sharing a room is still doable especially when you got a big desk. You love to organize your space with all of your papers, pens, writing and drawing utensils. You did your first triathlon and it was hard but you finished. To train you and I swam, biked and ran together. Soon you will out run me but I know that you will still want to run with me because you love the time alone. You danced in Narnia for the first time and loved your ballet and lyrical jazz pieces for this years recital [especially your bollywood piece]. You continue to study piano but have taken guitar lessons now too. You are a Classical Conversations Memory Master. You will begin Challenge A this next year. You and your friends are going to put on a play based off of Pride and Prejudice. You love the books the Penderwicks, Lord of the Rings, Rick Riordan, Swallows & Amazons, Pride and Prejudice, and Charlotte's Web. You were big enough to need a new bike this year. You are excited to climb a mountain this summer. You got your first serious Valentine's card. I love that you have friends of all ages. You are still our laughing Lilybug but you are transforming into a young woman of grace. You like to read your Bible and have conversations about questions that arise. You seek your Papa's company to talk and spend time with. He gets you in a way that few do. You cuddle gently with Atticus and he sinks into your arms. Wilder thinks you are her personal playmate and you oblige her with your time and creativity. Me - I am constantly amazed by how open and loving and real our conversations can be amidst the working out of life. God is merciful. You are loved and known by your little community and it is enriching your growth in such profound ways. We thank God for your life and the beauty of spending this precious time with you. Much love and the happiest of birthday wishes!

why not try a triathlon

2011-05-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

Lily did her first triathlon yesterday. It was good but brutal at moments. The biggest thing out of this was her finishing a hard race on a cold day. For me it was figuring out whether or not I was pushing too hard or if she was truly encouraged by my presence and voice. The swim went well but it was a cold morning and she got chilled running to the transition area. She slowed down quite a bit and I had to really prod her verbally to take each step to transition. Parents were not allowed to be in the area but we could be right outside. It reminded me of so many things. As a teacher I have said to my students we can give you the information but you, and you alone have to make the choice to work. I had to work at finding the right balance of letting go of the process. As she moved into the bike she rallied a bit but then got fatigued and as this was her first race I could tell she did not have the vision of what it took to get to the end. So I ran back and forth on the course yelling words to help her. I could tell she was picking up each time she could see or hear me. Then when she transitioned to the run it was summoning every last bit she had. I knew she might decide to stop but I was hoping that she could pull it through to finish. Finish she did. It was not pretty but then she was done. I asked her if I had pushed too hard and her response was that she could see, feel, hear me everywhere and that yes, it helped. I hope that is what we do as parents. Surround them with the support they need, but know that the choice is theirs. Letting go of what the journey looks like for our children is also a part of us growing up as parents. I truly want her to know that the joy we feel is in being able to be there and hoping that we are helpful and loving in the process. There will be more of these moments and I pray I can be there. God is good. Carpe diem.

Recitals - as part of the refining process

2011-05-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

This weekend is dance recital weekend. Both Wilder and Lily are dancing and the shows are two days - 6 shows. Wilder will be in 2 of the shows and Lily in 4 of the shows. This is the culmination of a years work for all the dancers in the show. It has been interesting to reflect on what this process brings to these children. It is a testing time. Even for Wilder's 3/4 year old class to see them finish something and present it at their age is amazing. I am glad to think of this process in the bigger picture. If this weekend were all there was the scope of stress might be too hard on these young uns. But to see this as a part of the refining process. To see all the learning and enjoyment opportunities. To be loved by the village as they reach for a dream is a blessed thing. I hope to take more pictures today but we are juggling having the 1 year old and 4 year old not be too overwhelmed and exhausted by this experience. Today is the last recital day. We are looking forward to some of our Portland loves to come visit. What a gift to travel so far and then to enter into this busy time. God is good. Carpe diem.

good papa reading

2011-05-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

My man has read to his children since they were born. When I think of the criteria of a good father I think that trait/act has become so significant to me. I was at an educational conference this last week and one of the comments made by the speaker was that through literature you were able to have a dialectic process with your children that allowed you to tackle harder issues. So tonight when Tucker came down with his voice catching with emotion and his eyes misted by tears, I knew it was in action in my home. They have just finished reading Charlotte's Web. Even as they neared the end it did not dawn on Wilder that Charlotte would have to die. And the poignancy of Wilbur not being able to say goodbye because he was holding the egg sac in his mouth to save Charlotte's babies. Tucker, Lily, Wilder and even I [though I was not there during the reading] were moved deeply. Wilder kept saying she wanted to keep reading and hearing Charlotte's story. Also, when they realized that to save the babies they had to leave Charlotte and that she died alone. Uggh... it was such powerful writing.

As I continue to sort out what I am taking away from my latest educational adventure I am reminded to press on in the fight to be present and work hard in the pursuit of helping my children to gain knowledge, to have understanding, and to grow in wisdom. I am also once again thanking God for the partner I have in Tucker who has steadfastly read to his children for almost 11 years now. God is good. Carpe diem.

mama dream

2011-05-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

When I was in the orphanage as a little girl I remember dreaming of someday being a mother. As I grew older I knew that I wanted to be someone who would help a girl in need of adoption. When I met my dear husband I dreamed of being a mother to his sons. I remember when people would ask us in our early years of marriage how many children we wanted, we would usually say 5. I don't know where we came up with such an audacious number but we said it with all the confidence of people who were not parents yet.
Now I am 40 years old. My heart has enlarged to hold 4 little lives in it. They will forever be sacred to me. I have had a hard week this last week watching another family struggling. Truly I do not understand how there can be such hard things going on in families around us that only are seen with eyes wide open. And yet I know there are. I have had to relive hard things in my life this week. To be reminded of the sacred and holy task it is to be a steward of these little lives entrusted to us. But God's mercy and grace are so evident to me in my life story and in others that I am always reminded through the very existence of my children how much God cares. I do not have all wisdom but I am striving towards it. And while I do this work I thank God to my bones for the chance to do it. I have been so close to death that this life is precious, precious.

So, to my dear Lily Valentina, Coco Madalena, Wilder Rose, and Atticus Roux - I thank God that he brought you into my life and I know that you are part of the journey to bring me closer to God. I thank God he brought me your Papa to help me be the best mama I can be. I pray for all those motherless children that they will be filled with love and nurturing from surrogate mothers. I am grateful for good mothers out there nurturing the lives that are in their care. I pray that we would remember and be renewed in love to our purposes.

I love the end of a fun filled, adventerous day. God is good. Carpe diem.

spring life

2011-05-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

Oh the call of this gorgeous weather and homeschooling on the fly. This is a season that leaps into the full bounty of the outdoor life. Homeschooling is taking on all forms of creativity and energy - gardening, exploring, etc - today it will include biking. So many of the years events are coming to a culmination while new beginnings of projects begin to start and open up. I am grateful to say that after 20 years of marriage my husband is still such an amazing support and partner in my life. Trying to be a present and engaged mama, wife, to homeschooling, be healthy, to live as fully as I can takes a partner. My man is there in such a solid way for me. As we grow older we realize that we are training for the distance of living healthy lives. That happens now and so we are trying with every fiber to encourage each other to do that.

I am glancing outside on a gorgeous sunny morning. The lilac outside my window is blooming fragrantly. Lily and I were out late last night training for an event she is doing at the end of May. It was fun to work, play, and be beside her. I cannot say enough how blessed it feels to have a meaningful relationship with your children. It is profound. I am grateful to the core. I pray I will continue to work to be worthy of such a blessing.

I need to do a post called "regrouping" to sum up some of the work I am into now. I have had to take a moment and stop my 360 degree spin and reorient myself. But it is coming in so many unexpected ways. Also, as of late the call to be a champion for those in need in our community. To act and not be blind to the present opportunities to serve. All of these opportunities in our life to add layer after layer of growth. To not be stagnant and to step out be open to where you are being called. This education of life is making me see the value of building a good family life. The call to open up your hearts, homes, minds to others and encourage each other. This gorgeous day is calling me and my children to enter in - so I leave this little note of thanks and wonder of God's amazing grace. I pray for the families in need of encouragement. I pray that we have eyes to see and hearts that stir when we are called to action. God is good. Carpe diem.

good friday

2011-04-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

These two are into all sorts of things together. Lily is most often captain of the ship but these two are such good mates.

Tonight we went to a Good Friday service and it really grounded me in the moment of this season. Jesus suffering, his death on the cross and his resurrection are such profound events that we still mark them today. When the bell at the service tolled 33 times for each year he had lived we sat in the silence. The service that we went too was in a beautiful chapel that held sound and magnified it into something ethereal. I could hear that most profoundly when the soloist sang. The service was quiet and reverent and even my children seemed to settle into that mood.

Tomorrow we are going to find some fun adventures on what is supposed to be a very hot day in April. I hope so. God is good. Carpe diem.

the smell of lilies

2011-04-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

happiness is: me and my little man

I sat at the front table writing a letter as the smell of lilies wafted from the nearby vase. It is the moment before the flowers outlive their beauty. It is the moment that is sweet and heavy in the air. Easter is the time that I think of lilies in the house. We actually have some lily buds poking out of the ground but they will not bloom until summer. It has been a tumultuous couple of days here but I am reminded to steady myself and remember which way my compass truly turns. I love/hate the lyrics - "you can't always get what you want - but if you try sometimes - you get what you need"
That may be a horrible misquote but it still is a truism. So, today an unexpected correspondence found me. It inspired in me the urge to do something I have not done in years - respond to this particular correspondent. I pray that my answer was a good one. I pray that it will heal something broken. I know that God is in the midst of it all. And more importantly I trust that mercy, grace, and love will trump fear. Take the leap - life is too short. God is good. Carpe diem

a sign of good living

2011-04-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

I think I might need to add this book to my library or at least lay my hands on it. I love the idea because even though I value a clean and tidy home - I value the creative fullness of living with children who are active and creative and learners. This weekend has been a doozy and I am working to open my mind to what God may have before us. This 40th year is becoming more and more a year of clarity for me. That is all I can say at the moment. God is good. Carpe diem

tripping

2011-04-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

We have traveled a bit this past week. Amidst our working we took a short break to travel by train. It was a great trip. The girls had so much fun riding with their friends. It was a great way to end the year with school mates. It was also so easy for adults to visit throughout the day. Little man did pretty well considering we disrupted his schedule of naps. A highlight was getting to see the godmother for some pub time. And then even though the train was late on the way home we went pretty merrily on our return trip.

At the end of the week Tucker and I were feeling the reality of choices being laid at our plate. It is such a complex thing to sort out what might be best in the short and long term goals. Truly it humbles one even more to realize that we are not alone in this process. So, now we turn to the searching of our hearts and minds for answers. Amidst all that trying to remember what truly is important in this life.

God is good. Carpe diem.

dear Rogue girl - RE: feverish texts

2011-04-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

Dear RogueGirl -
Thanks for responding to my text. I hope Ben feels better. As you know, having walked so intimately in conversations with Tucker and I, that we are committed to reclaiming our education and searching for truth and love. It is not an easy road. Last summer we were introduced to Andrew Kern and the idea of

"Children are souls to be nurtured, not products to be measured."

Oh how that sentence has seared itself into the fabric of this last year. I know you are becoming more and more familiar with Kern. I am continuing to carve out time to study as I learn this craft of homeschooling. I just watched Waiting for Superman. Although, I am not in public education - the issue of being good stewards to our children's education is important to me. Even within the homeschool circles there is a searching for new avenues of communal schooling. As I try to sort through all the options that appear before me I am reminded to remember to clarify the goals we are striving for.

That brings me to today. Amongst our schooling and life we spent some time with an artist friend of mine. Lily was able to ask her a few questions and listen to her thoughts on her current work. I could see Lily soaking it all in and loving the moment. It led to a thoughtful little discussion on the way home. It reminded of this little moment that I captured via video this last week. I love how it captures the nurturing spirit of Lily's piano teacher. How Wilder can be there absorbing and dancing as her sister learns her new songs. I want to remember that we did slow down and work on things that feed the soul. But also to know that we worked hard and persevered. I know there will be fruit and harvest from all this labor. Thank you for being so encouraging in this shared road. Even across the miles I know you are walking your path and creating a beautiful new world. God is good. Carpe diem.

Atticus WALKED

2011-04-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Celebrating those first things can sometimes slip by for the 3rd kid in the family. After becoming more and more mobile standing up, and then driving the plasma car and ladybug wheelie around and learning to maneuver that, Atticus WALKED at least 4 steps to me. It happened as all events of this proportion happen - amidst the chaos of the mundane. We had just arrived home and were settling the kids in and gearing up for bed. Atticus had been set down on the floor and had risen to standing. He looked up at me and took one step. I crouched down lower and then he walked little steps straight to my arms. Love it. Tucker looked up at me and we both smiled and nodded - the boy walked. It is the beginning of a whole new world for him. Ironically we have also baby gated all the stairs and yet he is like a Houdini and figures out how to get past it and up the stairs. This is the way of life - really - two steps forward, door opened, door closed. I just wanted to records this. Now as I finish this little post, I can hear Tucker praying with the kids through the baby monitor. Their voices all clamoring to pray. It is a sweet togetherness of a little family living closely. I don't know where our next roads will lead but we will, God willing, be together and that is a good thing. God is good. Carpe diem.

I wrote you a letter

2011-04-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Tending the garden with my big girl, I wrote you a letter but cannot send it. There are many reasons, but mostly it is because I don't know where to send it any more. I know it was your birthday and so I needed to write this somewhere to remember. You were so young when I met you. You offered us a gift beyond measure. The little life you gave to us grows and thrives. It is funny how God weaves our stories so intricately. As I get older I am more and more aware of how little we know of the storyline. All of these thoughts push me to prayer and to surrendering to the unknown and to trust. We are now in a season of taking back what the locusts have eaten. We are in a season of nourishment and growth. I thank God for the reprieve and pray that we will strengthen and grow in the sun. God is good. Carpe diem.

Don't confuse the two

2011-04-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

On the first year of my life as a mother I was given a book by my dear friend. It was "A Short Guide to a Happy Life" by Anna Quindlen. I believe it is a speech she gave to college graduates about living life. Flash forward to ten years after receiving this book as a gift. I am now a veteran mother of ten years and starting the whole process over again. Tonight Lily "graduated" from the Foundations part of her CC education. She will continue on with the class that she has more or less been studying with for these last three years. As Lily launches into the Challenge program, Wilder will launch into the Foundations program. These two events are seismic in our little world. As I prepare for the work ahead I am reminded about Quindlen's book. She exhorts us not to confuse work and life. As a homemaker, a mother, a homeschooler and wife the question of work and life intertwining brings me to the conclusion that I surely must confuse the two. But as I carve out my roles as listed above, I realize that amidst all that is the pursuit of living that defines me individually even as it links me to my little group. As I work at all these things, I am also in the process of reclaiming my education, refining my knowledge, and pursuing life bringing activities. That breathes into my home, my work, my existence. If I am not pursuing getting a life amidst this work, then drudgery is truly what I will be reaping. Maybe that is dramatic but there is a difference when as Quindlen would say, "I show up, I listen, I try to laugh." It ties me to LIFE and all the gorgeous possibilities of living in such a way. This is the hardest work I have ever done and truly I thank God I have a chance to even do it. God is good. Carpe diem.

interview with the lily

2011-03-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

Lily had an end of the year presentation to introduce herself to an audience and after chatting it over we decided to help her do a little film for her presentation. We set it up and did it in an evening. There was a 3-4 minute time limit. It was fun to do and fun to see a snapshot of her personality now.

March forward - striving

2011-03-26T04:52:00.000-07:00

I am up early, much earlier than I like. Atticus Roux had a fussy night and just now is settling in. Yesterday was a big day on our continued march towards getting things done. We are two weeks from when we started this goal. We have two weeks until our intended launch. The thing that I like about short goals are that you push towards something marching against your normal pace, knowing that you will have a short duration of pushing. That doesn't mean life can't throw you curves, but overall it helps you fight the fatigue and go for it.

The girls are both pitching in. They help entertain brother, do little tasks, and in general encourage us to see why we are moving this briskly. Tucker is amazing - he has mad skills that truly make a lot of this achievable. I must admit to earnestly praying this will go better than expected. The forecast on dreams can go anywhere from optimistic to uncertain on a whim, but if you can find your firm purpose - march forward you can and will.

This week was marked with a few fun visits amidst our tasks. They encouraged us greatly in the striving. What is ironic to me is how much you can get done when you put your mind, heart and soul into it. I truly feel that whatever the outcome of this journey - all will be well. This reminds me of those times I have felt God pulling us to act - and we are. God is good. Carpe diem.

a single step

2011-03-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

A journey of a thousand miles began with a single step.

[1904 Sayings of Lao Tzu tr. L. Giles 51]

I have heard this saying many times but in this season it strikes more truly in the heart. Each day of moving forward. Every day coming to this life ready to pursue being the creatures God called us to be. It is no small thing.

And then amidst our little family's endeavors is the greater picture of this world and the trials and sufferings. Perspective brings contentment at a profound level and ultimately God willing turns us to our creator and sustainer. This is the plane on which I meditate on this morning. Life in all its fullness around me and I still my soul to meditate and ponder greater wisdom then mine. God is good. Carpe diem.

out of the valley

2011-03-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

It has been some gray weeks in the valley and a week or two of sickness here. Despite all that we have rallied and worked together - the biggest work of late has been helping Lily study for her test. She passed her humungo test and we are all so proud and happy -- happy dance--!!Needless to say we are wrapping up a big chapter of her schooling and it is nice to see all the hard work and perseverance be rewarded. Tucker and I have had many conversations on education and as we are in medias res of Lily's education and just on the verge of launching Wilder's "formal" education - well it is fascinating to see where we are from where we came. Each day/month/year is a time of really seeking and pondering what road is best. It is a humbling task but it is a reclamation and a rebirth of a vision of education and the seeking of wisdom. I am so grateful that we are finding the road as we grapple with the nuts and bolts of how to do this. Meanwhile real life and all it's work marches on. And everyday in our little house is life, and energy and movement, growth, and lots of love. God is good. Carpe diem

a hard fought week

2011-03-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

It has been a bit of a struggle this week. The process of health and illness entering in for a bit. In general we are a healthy lot but last weeks bout of ear infections and cold melted into this week having an intestinal bug. Combine that with Atticus having some sleep issues and you have a recipe for one tired set of parental units. However, even with all that said we are working to rally and get the things done we need to step one moment closer to new goals.

Walking beside Lily in her ever evolving process of growing up has been an amazing gift. It has brought to light so many things from the past for both Tucker and I. This current topic has been the goal of testing - the preparation for her to complete a major part of her elementary education. She has been studying this whole year, but more intensely these last few months. Everything at this time of the year is trending towards a completion in some ways. The dance classes are now working towards her recital dances. The writing classes towards a culminating project. The list goes on. Although I worry at times about the work - it is easy to see the fruit of every days labor adding up. I marvel at the gift of that.

Juxtaposed with her big sister's refinement in education and being is Wilder's process as we launch her into becoming a reader. As we learn how to teach her. It is amazing the nuances of personality in a task. There is a refreshing moment of being able to look at something in a new way. It keeps the teacher always in the process of being a student. I am excited for the opportunities this new avenue is opening up.

Atticus - he is quite the little fellow. He's not walking yet but still working closer to standing and letting go. I am in no hurry to have this next stage of mobility. He continues to be in everything and reaching higher and higher. He can now almost climb onto chairs and sofas but then cannot stay safely in them. I foresee many tumbles ahead. But his personality - well so far he is patient until he sees something he wants and then he doggedly goes after it. He is a charmer - smiling at people and engaging them and then when the attention is overwhelming hiding in my arms. He loves people, wheels, buttons, cars/vehicles. He is very very BOY in this girl house. It makes for a house of sweetness and hilarity.

Last but not least, after this season of cold we are beginning to see days of beginning spring. Tucker is getting our bikes ready for more adventures. Lily is now in a bigger bike that will last her a few years. Her little green bike seems so small now that she is riding a women's small size. Yikes the wheels are as big or bigger than mine. Wilder is in the tag-a-long and Atticus already needs a bigger helmet. We are growing forward and I pray that this season will be fruitful and bring us further on the process of being and becoming the family God intended us to be. It is really a gift to be doing this homeschooling, home life the way we get to right now. It is good to see it and love it because I am often very aware it is not a choice others can make. God is good. Carpe diem.

atticus ONE

2011-03-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

Atticus is now ONE years old. I had grand intentions of celebration but as it turned out simple celebrations won out for the better. His birthday was on a Tuesday this week and that is one of our busiest homeschool days with CC and preschool. My life is very much here and there and back again on Tuesdays. Despite the busy schedule we slowed down and celebrated our little man. I had to go revisit our pictures of him from his first days last February.

I tried to capture a photo of him sitting in one spot but he is a man on the go. He's not yet walking but is definitely close. He has been our missing link in this family. An awesome youngest and a much adored son and brother. God is good. Carpe diem.

walking beside them

2011-02-28T23:35:00.000-08:00

Oh my - it is a late night and the winter wind is howling outside my front door. I am gathering my work and getting ready for the next days. We are so in the midst of growing pains at all ages. It is all new and yet nothing new under the sun. Tucker and I were just talking with Lily about how it is an acquired skill to learn to test. That it takes discipline and hard work and often it is not easy. Sometimes it is not always easy to know when we are pushing to hard or not enough. And then you realize that it is not pushing that you are working towards it is more an act of walking beside them and sometimes holding their hand. I am grateful my children get both a mama and a papa to help them navigate growing up. It is good to have two different perspectives, to have two strong lights to follow, to have two consistent people loving on you. It is not what I had growing up and I remember not really having anyone help me navigate the waters of life, of education, of growing up. It is good to know, really know that I have a partner in this. That he is a husband that I can walk beside and that we can walk beside them. It is a gift I cherish and am grateful in this moment to see so clearly. I pray that in all the mundane business of life that we will remember and cherish each other and this time. It is stunning to me to realize that I have a 10.5 year old, a 4 year old and a 1 year old. Who would have thought? God is good. Carpe diem.

bridging

2011-02-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

This was taken last week and tonight in the chilly cold air it snows in the darkness. My family settles into our evening routines. Tucker is upstairs reading to the children while I tidy up and then write for a moment. I can hear his voice through the baby monitor and it unites our evening tasks. We have taken to reading our bible at night because of illness or hard nights of little sleep for the babes and us anxious parents. This is the season of vigilance and work. The laundry pile was part of our home chores today and it was good to see that my girls are now able to work beside me. The big one folding and sorting and the little one folding small towels. I am hoping that we are fostering a family team atmosphere and it makes me smile as the girls chatter. We work and then play as our motto. I feel that if we don't keep good lines of communication it is easy to get lost in our own duties even when we work so closely together. I am glad for these moments and work to remember to connect amidst the daily.

Our "offices" sit on either side of the downstairs of our house. Mine is adjacent to the kitchen and living room. Tucker's to the kitchen and then leading outside. It makes for varied textures of our daily living. Each room with it's ambiance. Tucker's mancave gives him the distance needed to do work from home, and yet to still help when he can with homeschooling. Often he will be teaching the girls as they sit on the daybed and he at his desk. I continue to try to sort myself out in this new space. I confess my couch goes from clean to piled and it is a battle I must wage daily. I have so much purging to do as I begin to see the plan of how we [all 5 of us and pug] really are living out this experience. I think that I have planned for many options and now that the numbers seem clearer it is easier to know then how to make it work. Each season is a season of surrender to the work at hand, to not knowing every thing, and yet to trying to make the best decisions and follow through as best we can. It is narrowing our focus, making a sweet little life.

I am still reading from Lewis and Barrett Browning and various educational things. My mind is filled with imagery and philosophical/theological trends that keep my brain dancing at night. Alongside of me is my man who is also studying and working. I don't know that such simplicity of being would be so good - and yet to have him beside me and the children around and health - praise be to God.

I end with a few quotes

"Art is much, but love is more...

Art symbolises heaven, but Love is God and makes heaven."

- Aurora Leigh Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"...To become new men means losing what we now call "ourselves." Out of ourselves, into Christ, we must go. His will is to become ours and we are to think His thoughts, to "have the mind of Christ" as the Bible says. " -- Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

" Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life." Psalms 54:4

lotsa love in this house for our little valentine man

2011-02-14T17:33:00.001-08:00

These are inspired by pictures we took of Lily when she was about 7/8 months for Valentines day. It was cute because emmalou was the one who reminded me about them and helped us set up the tableau for little man. He'll probably think these are blackmail later but oh, he is so kissable right now and it is crazy to think that tomorrow he will be ONE years old! crazy fun!

a glimpse of a day

2011-02-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

I am not a very great schedule person. I am getting better but it is not my natural strength. However in order to accomplish this homeschooling thing I have to get things down on paper. That being said some days we stick to the plan and others - we go rogue. Our mornings are primarily Lily's big push on her school work. Tuesdays are Classical Conversations and Wilder preschool. Lily and her friends work on their schoolwork sometimes. This week they were practicing their presentation for school and wanted to perform it to the park that Wilder was playing at. I was amazed by the confidence of these girls - and then I thought but that is what we are giving them - confidence that if they work hard fun opportunites can exist. While Lily was in astronomy - Wilder and I talked and she drew with chalk. Our morning Bible time has led to so much conversation about our faith, our histories, who God is. I love hearing her 4 year old perspective. Every Tuesday I drive a car full of girls [and sometimes the little man] to dance. As they chatter I am given a glimpse into what they thought of the day. And I am reminded of how important it is too see them as individuals. Lily has a fun group of girls around her and I pray Wilder will have the same opportunities. It is fun to see all the opportunities that our little community has to offer. Each season seems to have a different rhythm - I like this seasons a lot. God is good - carpe diem.

childhood is magical/the ordinary becoming the unexpected

2011-02-04T17:46:00.000-08:00

It has been a long week with the mister working long hours. We are watching an opera as I type - Hansel and Gretel. Seriously - thank God for Fridays! Wilder had her ballet class this morning and then we were off for a picnic and art at the museum. It is a lot of work to cart young ones about - no mistake about it - young 'uns don't want to be corralled. All that being said, they won't learn the joy of these adventures unless you do them and do the work to help them [and you] enjoy it. I was reminded of the "gold" or treasure of these adventures as the kids helped get us out the door, to the car, out of the car and on our way. As we walked along on this overcast winter day I was feeling a bit apprehensive about the energy level being too much for a museum day and then the girls began to talk about where they were going. Each ordinary thing became something unexpected. The arbor we walked under became three magical gates into the kingdom. There was a large castle with moats and bridges. A special squirrel named Putty was visited in his tree. As we got into the museum the art was very fun to see. Lily was reading each label and looking closely. Wilder scanned over each piece and skipped around. It was so hard for her not to want to touch everything. Even Atticus seemed interested. After the galleries we went and got a snack and then wandered around outside. The girls found "toadstools" to jump on and then a forest to explore. As a bonus we found painted lions on the way back to the car. They were garishly painted but to a child that can be beautiful. The lions were named Julia & Ivy and the children talked to them and made up stories. It made me wish to go back to when I was a kid and hear what magic I talked about. I am glad that they still have that special ability to invent worlds out of the ordinary. Here is a glimpse of our travels today. God is good - carpe diem.